I Want a Cannon

I don't really know how to describe this desire. 

I just want a cannon. A real one. I want to pack gun powder, wadding and a cannon ball with a real ram-rod. I want to actually light a fuse. I want to be able to hit a door sized target at 300 yards.

I don't care that it would be stupid expensive to buy or that it would cost $30 every time I fire it. I don't care that it would require consistent maintenance, even if I don't fire it. I don't care that it would be a pain in the ass to find a place to shot it, to move it, to store it or explain it's existence to people.

Don't ask me why I want it. If I have to explain it, you probably won't understand anyway.

--I want it.